They’ve been taught, sometimes directly, often quietly, that emotions are dangerous zone.

That strength equals control, and vulnerability equals weakness.

But over the years in my counselling practice, I’ve witnessed a different kind of strength evolving in men: the strength to feel.

Rediscovering an emotional vocabulary

When men first join therapy, they often tell me, “I don’t know what I’m feeling” or “I can’t explain it.”

Genuinely it’s not a lack of willingness, it’s plainly that they were never taught the language of emotions.

So together, we start a process of rediscovery.

We slow down, focus on to the signals of the body, tension in the shoulders, a tight jaw, a heaviness in the chest. Each of these sensations keeps a story.

Sometimes I invite them to describe these sensations using metaphors: “If this weight could speak, what would it say?” or “What colour is your worry today?”

Little by little, words begin to emerge.

And with words comes awareness. And with awareness, healing.

Learning safety in presence

For many men, the therapy room is the first safe space where they can simply be.

No expectations to “perform”, no need to fix or analyse. Just presence.

One of my students, Leown, who attends supervision, shared:

“Attending group supervision with Beata was a crucial component of my professional development, during these sessions I felt listened to and accepted as an individual and as part of a group.

I was never made to feel that I could not speak and share, or that my opinions and thoughts were invalid or irrelevant. In my experience, Beata had a talent for making even the most abstract of subjects relatable on an individual and personal level.”

That feeling of safety, being heard with no evaluation, is often the first turning point.

Once men understand, they don’t have to bury their emotions, they start to see vulnerability not as weakness but as authenticity.

Growth through awareness

I often remind the men I work with that emotional growth is like forming muscle, it takes patience, consistency, and compassion.

We work on spotting emotions, but also on understanding what they are aiming to say.

Anger might hide fear. Anxiety might mask exhaustion. Silence might be a way to protect a hurt part of the self.

As John shared after several sessions:

“Beata was very supportive. Despite my initial resistance, the therapy helped me understand my situation and was helpful. The entire experience was very positive, especially since everything was conducted in a professionally confidence manner.”

When men begin to explore their emotions, they often notice that something shifts not only inside them, but around them.

Relationships soften. Communication deepens. And the world feels a little less weighty.

Personal development as a path back to self

In my approach, I often combine elements of personal development: encouraging curiosity, reflection, and connection to everyday life.

It’s not just about managing anxiety or depression, it’s about rediscovering who you are beneath the roles of provider, partner, son or father.

Sometimes this means learning to have a rest without guilt.

Sometimes it implies saying “no” with confidence.

And sometimes it is permitting oneself to cry, not out of despair, but as an act of release and strength.

As David once wrote:

“The counselling was at my home, and it was ideal for me. I’m very satisfied with the service that I received. The sessions helped me clarified my feelings about my bereavement. Beata provided sympathetic and professional support for one of the worse things that can happen to anyone.”

That clarity is often the real reward, not perfection, but peace.

The courage to feel

True strength is not measured by how much you can suppress, but by how deeply you can connect.

Each time a man sits down in therapy room and says, “I don’t know where to start,” he’s already taken the worthiest step: he’s started.

Because learning to speak the language of emotions isn’t just about labelling feelings.

It’s about returning home, to oneself.

Beata 🤗

Modern psychological and medical research confirms what natural therapies and body-based work have known for years: chronic stress affects immunity, sleep, digestion and energy levels. A constantly tense mind sends alarm signals to the body. A tired body affects emotions, focus and the way we think.

The secret of a good life is not a secret

The secret of a good life is not about having the perfect plan, strong willpower or endlessly trying to ‘fix yourself’. It is about noticing simple signals: tiredness, sadness, tension, longing. A good life begins when we stop ignoring them.

For many Polish migrants living in the UK (this applies to all people emigrating), life has become fast, demanding and lonely. Work pressure, responsibilities, distance from family and the belief that you must ‘cope on your own’ can slowly disconnect you from yourself. Psychology is clear: unexpressed emotions do not disappear – they settle in the body.

That is why mental health care, talking therapy, psychological support or hypnotherapy are not luxuries. They are acts of self-care and investments in emotional wellbeing and quality of life – here and now, not someday in the future.

Balance instead of fixing yourself

Living a good life is not about becoming a ‘better version’ of yourself. It is about restoring balance. Sometimes through movement, sometimes through breath, sometimes through therapeutic conversation, and sometimes through working with the subconscious patterns we have carried for years.

Life energy is not an abstract idea. It is the ability to stay connected – with yourself, with others and with life itself. It is the sense of meaning that helps you get out of bed in the morning. When that energy is missing, even the best external conditions bring little comfort.

Holistic work (combining therapy, personal development, emotional support and care for the body) allows us to see a person as a whole. Not as a list of symptoms, but as someone who needs safety, awareness and kindness.

A good life begins when we stop rushing to be ‘better’ and start being more present – with ourselves and with our lives.

Beata 🤗

Through the vivid colours of changing leaves, or the flames dancing in your fireplace, or the birds flying high and away to distant lands, this is the perfect time to unlock and nurture your inner artist.

No other season can create such an atmosphere as autumn. With its distinct palette of burnt oranges, deep reds and earthy browns, and its cosy scents of pumpkin spice, cinnamon and apples, it is a great source of inspiration for developing your creativity.

Take yourself on a walk through the whirlwind of colours. Whilst the biting cold may not be your cup of tea, taking a stroll in the changing natural world with a warm travel mug of hot chocolate might be. Put on your fluffiest socks and your warmest scarf, and observe how the seasons blend and move into one another. Pay attention to your surroundings. Perhaps write down what you can see, smell, or hear. Maybe bring a camera or sketchbook and capture these observations.

This is the season of pumpkin-carving, dried-out flowers, and foraged mushrooms, chestnuts and acorns. So whilst it may be tempting to purchase a bunch of autumn-themed decorations and drown your house with them, taking advantage of the fallen apples and leaves is a must.

There are many unique arts and crafts that only this season can offer, exploring all types of artistic mediums. If painting is your calling, why not paint the transitioning landscape? Or decorate apples and pumpkins? Perhaps you love to bake, so hunt down those pumpkin spice recipes. Still not sure? Try using dry flowers and leaves to create scrapbooks or decorations for your home.

Arts and crafts are a very relaxing way to bring some personality into the home and to celebrate the season. Whether you do this alone, with friends, a partner or your children, arts and crafts are fun for everyone.

Autumn is a season of gratitude and abundance, and of letting the bad things decay. So show your appreciation for the natural world by engaging with it and capturing its beauty. Allow your creativity to expand, and yourself to expand with it.

Oliwia

for Someone to talk to 🤗

We have finally arrived at another Christmas, and undoubtedly you are stressing about all those gifts you must buy and the massive dent in your wallet it will cause. If that is the case, then I think you will enjoy this month’s article, because we will be exploring how you can use the power of creativity to make memorable gifts for your loved ones.

Creating your own gifts is a much more affordable, sustainable option, one which you can alter to suit the tastes of the recipient. For example, rather than settling for a cheap, mass-produced bowl or bauble, make your own! Go to a pottery making class, or buy a plain ornament and some paints, and get started. The piece will be unique, and you can use colours and patterns you know your loved one will like, making it personalised to their individual preferences. Likewise, you could try your hand at painting your loved one, or drawing them, everybody loves a self-portrait.

If painting is not your thing, you could create a scrapbook or photo album of your friend or family member, highlighting all their greatest accomplishments and customising each page with things like tickets from that movie you went to together, or the bus you took to get there. You could decorate the pages with stickers and doodles of things they like and embellish the front cover to your heart’s desire. Make sure you go all out with it.

Finally, every present needs a beautiful card to match it. The most special present you could give someone is one which loudly expresses how you feel. Fill the card from top to bottom with praises and words of love, allow them to flow from your heart. Bonus points if you write a poem and make it rhyme. To make it extra special, you could teach yourself calligraphy and impress them with your newfound beautiful handwriting.

Pick a medium that suits you the most, from origami to woodburning. Do not be afraid to try, every handmade present is bound to be appreciated, no matter how it turns out.

…So, let your inner artist out.

Oliwia

for Someone to talk to 🤗

Sometimes thoughts swirl like a never-ending loop: you analyse, replay, second-guess. When it stops being creative reflection and becomes constant stress, self-criticism, worry – it may be time for therapy or counselling. Overthinking often masks fears, unprocessed emotions, and patterns that hinder healthy action.

If your mind never rests – if each problem gets scrutinised a hundred times – ask yourself: is this a moment to bring in support?

Reflection, cognitive reappraisal and healthier thinking

In counselling, techniques like cognitive reappraisal are used – consciously reinterpreting thoughts that block us. We stop being prisoners of negative narratives and learn new perspectives.

Reflection is active: not passive rumination, but weaving meaning – what does this event teach me, how can I integrate it, what’s the lesson? This process deepens self-awareness and emotional regulation.

When therapy / counselling can help

Therapy offers a space where you’re not alone with your excess of thoughts. It’s an opportunity to:

• observe your thinking patterns from a safe distance,
• distinguish thoughts that are destructive vs constructive,
• work through anxiety, intrusive thoughts, self-blame,
• build stronger psychological resilience.

At “Someone to talk to”, we work with empathy, mindfulness and care. We take an integrative approach: sometimes cognitive techniques, sometimes guided visualisations, sometimes exploring inner imagery – whatever suits your journey.

People who go through this process often report greater mental calm, clearer decision-making, healthier emotional connection and stronger capacity to face challenges. The benefits come when you put in the work and commitment.

Quick guidance before you decide

Ask yourself: “Are ruminating thoughts interfering with my joy or function?”

Notice when overthinking becomes suffering.

Try simple reflection exercises: e.g. write down your dominant thought, do that three times in a day, note which help and which weigh you down.

If self-tools aren’t enough – counselling at ‘Someone to talk to’ in our therapy rooms or online, can offer structure, support and a safe space for transformation.

Beata 🤗

I help Poles and others in the UK find peace, growth, and a sense of belonging.

Perhaps you have a project you have meaning to start, or a habit you wish to quit. Resetting negative behaviours can have enormous benefits for your wellbeing, whether it is procrastination or addiction, there is nothing you cannot overcome.

If you want change, you must reflect on your reasons and motivations. Why do you want to change this aspect of your life? How will it benefit you? What is the end goal? Think about how this will affect not only yourself, but also your family and work. Visualise all the positive outcomes and return to these whenever you feel like giving up. Without the right motivation, old habits will return, so take a while to ponder over this.

So, you know what you want to change and why, but it still feels too difficult, too daunting. In this case, remember to start small; it is a simple way of building new habits. For example, if you would like to read more, making yourself read a couple of pages a day is a lot less intimidating than trying to tackle a whole book in one sitting.

Do not overwork yourself on your new project, as it is a one-way ticket into a slump. Take it slow and find enjoyment in your activities. Also, don’t be afraid to reach out to your loved ones and ask them for support! Having a good support group will help keep you on track to achieving your aspirations.

Do not fear discomfort. By opening yourself up to new possibilities and experiences, such as going to a yoga class, or joining a social club, you teach yourself to become comfortable with discomfort. Developing this will make you more focused and determined in accomplishing your goals. Step outside of your comfort zone and explore the various opportunities around you. Do not fear failure, you only fail if you give up.

Change can be an intimidating thing to tackle, it is easier said than done, but with right mindset and support, it can become your reality starting today!

Oliwia

Jesteśmy tu, by Ci pomóc 🤗

#someonetotalkto #beatatyka #reset #counsellingscunthorpe

A positive mindset helps us focus on our strengths, resilience, and capacity to thrive. When we accept ourselves as we are, we begin to build a healthier self-image. This self-acceptance is not about self-admiration or giving up on growth, but rather recognising that our worth is not conditional on achievements, appearances, or others’ opinions.

The belief that we are enough allows us to treat ourselves with the same understanding and care with which we would treat our family and friends. It’s the key to emotional well-being, reducing anxiety, depression, and feelings of unworthiness.

Furthermore, accepting ourselves as “enough” opens the door to authentic living. When we stop trying to meet unrealistic standards or mask our vulnerabilities, we can connect with others more genuinely. This authenticity nurtures stronger relationships and a deeper sense of belonging.

Practicing gratitude, mindfulness, and affirmations are simple yet powerful tools supported by psychologists that reinforce the belief in our intrinsic worth. Journaling about our strengths, celebrating small victories, or simply pausing to appreciate the present moment can ground us in the truth that we are already whole. Learning to appreciate the person you already are and how far you have come, is a powerful act of self-love and an essential step toward inner peace.

In conclusion, embracing the idea that “I am enough – just as I am” is not an excuse to stop growing, but a foundation from which real, sustainable growth becomes possible. It’s a radical act of self-love in a world that often tells us otherwise – and it’s one of the most important steps toward lasting happiness and mental well-being.

Oliwia

For Someone to talk to

You procrastinate and put it off, explaining it away as not having enough time or money.

Whether it’s a fear of failure, disappointment or rejection, fear is the chief obstacle in your way. You must tap into your courage to act and overcome this shadow blocking you from your best life.

Here are a few of my best tips for awakening the courage that lies dormant within you:

Tip #1: Realise no one cares what you are doing.

The spotlight effect is a psychological sensation that causes people to believe others are paying them more attention than they actually are. The truth is, no one really cares, everybody is concerned with themselves first and foremost. So, you shouldn’t feel embarrassed or ashamed for trying something new, because that embarrassment is all internal and temporary.

Tip #2: Don’t get upset over things you can’t control.

We easily get hung up on regrets and the ‘what ifs’, but the past is the past and it can’t be changed. It is important to separate the things that truly matter from the things that only seem to matter. If you fail, you can try again, and you can work on what went wrong the first time. Remember, it is never too late to try.

Tip #3: There is no right place and right time.

Which brings me to this point. Sometimes you just have to start. Don’t give yourself time to think up doubts. Life will always get in the way, and it is up to you if you are going to let it.

Tip #4: You only live once.

A cliché phrase but a true one. We are supposed to explore new experiences as human beings, and in order to develop, we must face our fears.

Whatever you are aspiring for, I hope this little message can serve as a glimmer of hope and a source of motivation, because you can do and have whatever you want in your life, if you only have the courage to act.

Oliwia

(Volunteer in STTT)